My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for.
To help unfortunate users like yourself.
Poor souls with no one else to turn to.
I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a bitch
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light, and made a switch
And I fortunately know a little coding
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And dear lady, please don't laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)
Poor unfortunate souls
In pain, in need
This one wanting to write good blogs
That one wants to edit more
And do I help them?
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my talk page
Crying, "Help, Shellturtle, please!"
And I help them!
Yes I do
Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
Yes I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls
Come on you poor unfortunate soul
Make your choice!
I'm a very busy turtle and I haven't got all day
It won't cost much
Just your vote!
You poor unfortunate soul
It's sad but true
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet
You've got the pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll
Relic, Drummer, now I've got 'em, boys
The boss is on a roll
These poor unfortunate souls